From the Pastor’s
Heart 
Conflict
At the risk of being redundant, I continue to have a great burden in learning and teaching how to resolve conflict. I suppose it stems from my own ineptness in dealing with conflict many times. And so it seems I'm impelled to study, learn and teach ways to resolve conflict in godly ways.
Conflict is very much a part of our lives and we deal with it sometimes on a
daily basis. Some conflicts are huge and some are inconsequential. Either way,
they have the potential of causing us great stress. I can remember through my
school years that I was so afraid of rejection from people that I avoided
conflicts at all costs. I would make jokes or sidestep the issue completely.
When I was in a conflict, I took it so personally because I felt rejection from
the other person. Only many years later did I finally learn that that it really
was sin to let the fear of others motivate me so extremely. The Holy Spirit
didn't lead me; others led me.
As you can see, learning to face conflict and resolving it makes us dig into
areas of our hearts that can sometimes be uncomfortable to disclose. (As if God
doesn't already know.) But the point is that if conflicts seem to destroy our
relationships and cause havoc in our lives, then we need to get to the root of
the problem. The problem is probably not just in having too many conflicts
alone. I believe God actually brings some conflicts into our lives just to show
us our need to change. So we need to understand that conflicts are not
accidents, but assignments. It took me a long time to finally come to terms in
accepting the fact that it was God that allowed conflicts in my life. It isn't
just the other people making mistakes or failing to carry out their
responsibilities. (Which may happen and actually be their sins, for which they
will be accountable before God.) But more importantly, God has allowed this, and
now the question is can I trust God to work it out.
When I can’t, I take my own actions and the conflict becomes a battle with
another person. There is a verse that has been on my mind that seems to connect
with me in thinking about conflicts. "Trust in the Lord with all your
heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him
and he shall direct your paths." (Prov. 3:5-6.) Sometimes in conflicts
we need to be reminded that God is directing our paths. (If indeed we are His
children.) And since He is directing our paths, He wants to be acknowledged that
we are trusting in Him and leaning on Him. Somehow, God wants to be glorified in
our conflicts. Do I like conflict? The answer is still an honest "no".
But I do believe that God uses conflicts to establish His will and to work in
our lives. I must believe that, for He says in Rom. 8:28, "And we know
that all things work
Tim Kennell, Pastor